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Why they put locks on doors

August 20, 2011

Yeah, yeah, I know.  It’s been a little while. 

But this one was TOO good. 

We just spent a fantastic week at the beach with Jeff’s family.  Sun, fun, surf, italian ice…and eventually….a very long drive home.  This year, instead of enduring an 8 hour driving marathon we decided to break the drive up.  So last night we left Ocean Isle, NC and drove late into the night until we stopped at a hotel in Emporia, VA. 

Sam (who is now 3 1/2 btw) was a little confused at the idea of a hotel, having never stayed at one before.  I explained that when you need a place to sleep and don’t know anyone in the area you stay at a hotel, which is like a big house with lots of bedrooms.  He seemed satisfied with this.

So we roll into the hotel around 12:45 am.  The kids are dead asleep, I’m nearly delirious and Jeff is flying high off a jumbo size bag of sweet tarts.  I carry Sam to the room, followed by Jeff and the now wide awake and incessantly chatting Abby (2 years old).  Sam never opens his eyes as I lay him on the other bed. 

I climb into bed with Abby as Jeff leaves to take the bikes off the car.  She quickly falls asleep….as do I…..until about 3 minutes later when she stiffens her whole body, claws her way on top of me and starts screaming about being bitten by “the snakes”.  I calm her down, explain that there are no snakes in the bed, to which she agrees, and we lie down again.  Three minutes later….SNAKE ATTACK!  All over again.  I narrowly avoid loosing my eyeball to her vicious little clawing fingers as I unglue her from my head.  Again, I finally calm her down, get her back to sleep and slam my own head back on to the pillow.

Just as Jeff opens the door she flips out again……completely asleep but screaming about getting bitten by the snakes.  Jeff eventually takes her out to the car so as not to risk waking Sam and I drop back to a dead sleep.

Suddenly my ears perk as I hear the phone ringing.  I open one of my exhausted, red, swollen eyes to see the time on the clock reads 5:45 am. 

Who the HELL is calling us?! Did we ask for a wake up call?  At 5:45 am???

“Hello”, I groan.

“Hello”, says a voice with a long Southern drawl, “I’m so sorry to bother you but do you have an itty little boy?”

My eyes fly open as whip my head around to Sam’s bed.  EMPTY. In fact, I am the ONLY person in our hotel room.

“OH MY GOD” I gasp as I slam down the phone and lunge for the door. 

I throw open the door and surge into the hall almost steamrolling Sam’s small body which is right in front of the neighbor’s door. 


“I had to pee-pee”, Sam grins up at me.  He is recently potty trained and exuberantly proud of every successful bathroom event. 

OH MY GOD.  Thank god you are alive … all I can think.  Except for the split second when I think – DID YOU PEE IN THE HALL!?!?!?  And the other split second when I’m utterly impressed that he found his way back to our room among a hallway of identical doors. 

“Sam…  there is a bathroom right in our room honey” I say. 

“That is the Ladies room mom.  I was looking for the Mens Room.  I told the lady down there that I had to pee-pee, NOT poop-poop, and I needed the Mens Room”.

I glance down the neverending hallway towards the light of the lobby, horrified at how far he had gone. I pulled him back into our room and quickly showed him our unisex bathroom.  He seemed to think I was bold-faced lying to him but had apparently already peed SOMEWHERE and no longer needed to.

Oh mercy. 

We snuggled back into bed….the SAME bed….and just as he was falling asleep he whispered “mom…you’re my best friend”. 

He is such an angel wrapped in such a little devil 😉

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