Ugh
Damn. Just as I thought I was starting to get good. Just as I thought I had my finger on the pulse.
I’m in Abby’s room today trying to simultaneously feed her and change her clothes when a stark naked Sam comes prancing in. He’s positively beaming with pride that he has whisked his own diaper off.
I start to fuss at him when I catch a whiff of that all too familiar smell. POOP!
OH NO!!!!
And here is where I made the wrong turn.
I screach at an ear piercing decible just as he plops his poop-licious booty right down on my new beige carpet. My eyeballs roll out of my head and I temporarily black out. Then swat at him, all the while trying to hold Abby on the changing table, as he empties the entire contents of his diaper on the floor. I screach again and lunge for the diaper, moments too late.
Sam stares blankly at me and then…..THEN…….in reaction to my TOTALLY AMATEUR response…….starts lauging like a mad man and runs back out of the room.
In the matter of 45 seconds I have made “poop play” the most fun and hilarious activity EVER. Dammit. I know better than to over react. Or even just react at all!!!
This is just the beginning. This is where it is all going to change. I am going to have to start duct taping his diapers to him.
Crap.
Literally.
Last night after working in the yard all day I wanted to treat myself to a bath. Harry heard me mention “bath” and decided he should hop in and keep me company. Instead of telling him to get is own bath, I let him in. I’m trying to relax amist all the boats and dolphins and ducks in my armpits, when I see a small unidentifiable object. That can’t be what I think it is. I choose to ignore it. About 10 seconds later, a big brown blob, and now there are three of us. After evacuating, I stand there freezing cold waiting for the water to drain so I can clean out the tub. Then, I call Chris in and tell him I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to take a shower, ALONE. He’s now in charge of Harry’s bath. Grrrr. That was not the relaxing bath I had in mind.
NEW carpet?
BEIGE carpet?
There’s your problem.